Salam Girls!Sub7anallah. Recently we have received long-winded messages from people who apparently cannot contain their disapproval of our site, people who think that fashion has a sexual connotation and that it cannot share a world with hijab. One even suggested that I'm not "into" hijab or islam. While I always appreciate constructive criticism, these are the kinds of people I disassociate with. The people who find something wrong with everything they see, and view themselves as worthy of criticizing everyone but themselves. Not only are the critical, but they go about confronting people in and unfriendly manner, with only the intention of criticizing instead of gently correcting their mistakes. The irony in that is that it’s against everything that our religion advises us to do. This story is one of my favorites from childhood and it's a good example of how Muslims should correct each other:
In the time of the prophet (PBUH), an aged Bedouin man came to Medina. He was very religious, and when the time for salat came he began making wudu. Hassan and Hussein, the young grandsons of Rasulullah (pbuh), observed that the man was performing his wudu incorrectly. Wanting to correct him without hurting his feelings or wounding his pride by correcting their elder, Hassan and Hussein came up with a plan. The approached the old man and ask him to help them because they couldn’t decide which was doing wudu correctly. Each performed wudu correctly and when they were done, the man realized his error. He thanked the boys for showing him the correct way and for their gentle manner.
Had the boys laughed at the man or looked down their noses at him, he probably wouldn’t have listened to or accepted their advice. As the Qur’anic ayah goes
"Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than charity followed by injury. And Allah is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is most Forbearing" (Quran - 2:263).
What really inspired me to write this, however, came from a non-Muslim classmate of mine. We were having a class devoted to Islam and the students were quickly bored by the video that we were assigned to watch, so they switched it off and started a Q & A session with me as the person with all the answers. It was an amazing time, MashaAllah, because these people asked me some really great and insightful questions. The one that really dug into my heart, however, came after I talked about the reasoning and rules of female Islamic dress.
A classmate asked: “So what do you think of girls who don’t adhere to what is prescribed to you? The girls in the tight jeans and the short shirts who wear a scarf on their head. Or even the ones 
who don’t. Do you think they are going to hell?”
who don’t. Do you think they are going to hell?”This question twisted my mind to pieces, because up until that moment when my Catholic classmate posed the question, I hadn’t been aware of just how judgmental a person I have been. I may not have burst into reprimands and chastisement, but I sure thought it. My answer to him represented exactly who I want to strive to make myself be:
“I am not God and it’s not my place to judge. I wasn’t born with the sole purpose of being my religion’s judge and enforcer and I’m sure I make mistakes in other areas that other people might judge me for. I don’t know every situation.
I know a girl who has such a hard time modesting it up because her mom isn’t a hijabi and she is pursuing hijab on her own. She never knows if her outfit is too tight or too short, because the standards she was raised with are so different from the ones she is trying to live up to. If I was someone who didn’t know her I might think that she just didn’t care, but thank god I know better. I wouldn’t want to try and judge someone with such a good heart and good intentions.
I know that there are a lot of muslim high school girls out there who have a hard time with hijab. I know that when I was in high school, especially in the first 2 years, I made such a bad representation of hijab in my tight jeans and short shirts because I felt like, of everything I was wearing, the long skirt was what would make me look strange, not the hijab. But as I got older and began to see hijab in a more religious light (I began covering when I was 10, by choice, but by high school it had just become a thoughtless habit) and began to appreciate its importance, I began to improve my attire significantly.
There are many girls who are facing the same feelings that I did, and inshallah they have the same epiphany that I did. If I judged them I would be the one committing the wrong, because many of those girls are trying with good intentions.
So while I, of course, hope that they modest themselves up, I’m not going to go so far as to say that they are wrong, black and white, period.”
If you see this in yourself, admit it to yourself: you see and you judge, even if you don’t think about it. Admitting it makes you realize that this might be a fault you need to fix. All we can do is ask for forgiveness, advise with kindness and gentleness, and always remember to try to improve ourselves.
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (or insult) his neighbor..." Sahih Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 76, Number 482
Jazakumallahu khairan!
posted by Ruqiyyah at 1:48 PM
Jazakillah sis:)